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Subject: fun corner
Replies: 256 Views: 5274
shail_86 3.04.10 - 05:17am
A psychiatrist walks into his waiting room and sees two men. One is hanging upside down from the ceiling. The other is sawing an imaginary piece of wood. The doctor approaches the man who is sawing and asks him what he is doing.
'I'm sawing wood,' the man replies.
'And what's your friend doing?' the doctor asks.
'Oh, he thinks he's a light bulb.'
'Well, don't you think you should tell him to get down? The blood is rushing to his head.'
'What, and work in the dark?'
*
texan09 11.04.10 - 07:50am
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why? After pondering the question she answered, I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet.
They said, Well okay, thank you. And told her that they would get back toher. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question.In reply, I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.
Again, Thank you, and that they would get back to her. Finally, the blonde entered the room and they asked her the same question they had asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for awhile and replied, I would like to go to the sun.
The people from NASA replied, Why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death? The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night! *
texan09 17.04.10 - 07:30am
POOR BOYS!
When a Girl Cries ------------The World Consoles her
But when a boy cries ---------- They say Come on man don't be A Girl
If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have done something
If Boy Slaps a girl -------------- Rascal doesn't know how to Respect Ladies
If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is Very Friendly
If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is flirting
If a Girl meets with an accident -------------------- Then its mistake of others
If a Boy meets with same accident -----------?- --?------ Don't you know how to Drive
What A World this Is
*
shail_86 18.04.10 - 03:16am
Sardar found a cigarette in her daughter's room
''Oh God! she smokes?''
Then found a bottle of wine
''Oh God! she drinks?''
Then he saw a boy
''Thank God! Ye sab is munde ka hai'' 
*
texan09 23.04.10 - 06:38pm
Women think of everything
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated Each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be
Heard deep into the night...
The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the
Grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the
Many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died
Of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went
Straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he
May indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to
Haunt you for the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside Down.'
d*mn!!! Women, they think of everything!!!!
*
shail_86 24.04.10 - 05:55am women 
*
shail_86 2.05.10 - 07:59pm
A man ran to the hotel manager and said, ''my wife is trying to jump out of the hotel window''
hotel manager,''how cud i help u sir?''
man,''please do something, the window isn't opening'' *
texan09 18.05.10 - 08:19am
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you 800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the 800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
*
texan09 18.05.10 - 08:19am
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
*
xtash 28.05.10 - 05:43pm
Long live Bachelors !!!!
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Men have a better time than women; for one thing,
they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I asked my wife, Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? She said,Somewhere I have never been! I told her,
How about the kitchen?
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too
late for the garbage?
Following her down the street I yelled, No, jump in.
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs... ..
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u
let him in!
--Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die? The first man approached him and said, Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied My wife's first husband.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then
smiled It really works !
YOUR SMILE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND._._._ .MAKE IT SOME ONE ELSE'S TOO !
BE HAPPY,IT'S ONE WAY OF BEING WISE,
*
xtash 28.05.10 - 05:45pm
CHINESE SICK LEAVE:
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs
hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me s*x. That Makes everything
better and I go to work. You try that.'
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what You say and I feel Great. I be at work soon..........
You got Nice house' *
shail_86 28.05.10 - 05:55pm
1 aadmi padosi se charpai lene gya.
Padosi - hamare pas do hi charpai hai. Ek par main or mera baap sota hai,dusri par maa or wife.
Padosi - salo charpai na do sona to sikh lo...... *
shail_86 28.05.10 - 05:59pm
Why did heisenberg never hv a child?
.
.
.
Bcoz wen he had momentum, he couldn't locate position & wen he found d position, he lost his momentum! UNCERTAINTY U C *
shail_86 28.05.10 - 06:05pm
Judge: You are accused of Rape, so u r fined Rs. 11461
Man: Mylord why exactly Rs. 11461?
Judge: Rs. 10000 for Rape, 4% Vat and 10.2% Entertainment Tax...
*
shail_86 28.05.10 - 06:15pm
Teacher - Dushashan kaun tha?
Student - Stupid
Teacher- kyou?
Student - sala sadi hi khichta raha, ye nahi k upar utha deta 
*
xtash 28.05.10 - 06:25pm
Definitions of Designations:
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.
HR Manager is a person who thinks that...
a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! *
xtash 28.05.10 - 06:27pm
Three men were hiking through a forest...
...
when they came upon a large raging, violent river.
Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:
' God, please give me the strength to cross the river.
Poof!!!
God gave him big arms and strong legs...
and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours,
having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river'
Poof!!!
God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs...
...
and he was able to row across
in about an hour
after almost capsizing once
Seeing what happened to the first two men,
the third man prayed:
'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river'
Poof!!!
HE WAS TURNED INTO A WOMAN!!!
She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream...
...
and walked across the bridge
Guys, if at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!
*
texan09 4.06.10 - 07:02pm
A group of 40 years old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and big t*ts.
10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before. *
armaansx 4.06.10 - 08:12pm
A Marwadi & a Sardar met on a plane & had a bet that if Marwadi fails to ans his ques he must give 5 &
if Sardar fails he has to give 500..
Sardar: whats the diff b/w earth and moon..?
.
Marwadi silently gives 5..
.
Marwadi: which is the animal with 3legs, goes to the mountain & returns with 4 legs..??
.
The Sardar searches for 2hrs in laptop & gave 500..
.
n asks..
.
Wats d ans..?
.
.
.
.
Marwadi again silently gave 5...!!
Marwadi rock! . .
*
xtash 12.06.10 - 12:25pm
LOVE STORY OF ENGINEER
i was in 12th
she was in 12th
i got B.Tech
She got BCA
I was doing B.Tech
She got MBA
I was preparing 4 M.TECH enterance
She got married
I m doing M.TECH
She's d mother of 2 children
I got PH.D
Her daughter is in 1st std.
I became DOCTRATE
Her daughter passed 10th,
I have joined job.
Her daughter joined college.
The greatest irony-
Today is my ENGAGMENT & her daughter is my FIANCEE.
NEXT BIRTH I LL TAKE commerce ..... *
xtash 12.06.10 - 12:28pm
Husband and Wife Funny Jokes..
Kindly forward to all your Friends
Hi dudes!
Lets start with a little smile on your face
to become pleasant feelings and healthy positive emotions.
To make u all smile and Enjoy..
Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!!
1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada
achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki
aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay...
2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot
pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to
mein malang kiu banta..?
3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to
kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada
aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai,
jo aap ke pass mojood hai!
5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik
Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai
to zaroor andha ho ga.
6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein
Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense
8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
What other problem can there be greater than this one?
9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De
12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!
14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi.
15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,&65533;Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
*
texan09 10.10.10 - 05:49pm
AN IRISH GHOST STORY
( This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitch tale, it's true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John , desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying...and wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John , were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....
Look Paddy....there's that d*mned idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!'
*
texan09 27.11.10 - 02:56pm
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in Some Particular order in a closed Room with an
Open window..
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door.Leave them alone and come back.....after 6 hours and then an*lyze The situation.
If they are counting the
Bricks, Put them in the Accounts Department.
If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing .
If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks, Put them in EnGiNeErInG.
If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.
If they are throwing the
Bricks at each ot! her,
Put them in OpErAtIoNs.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in Security.
If they have broken the bricks Into pieces, Put them in information Technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources..
If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet Not a brick has Been moved ... Put them in Sales.
If they have already left for The day, Put them in Marketing..
If they are Staring out of the Window, Put them on Strategic Planning.
And then last but not least, If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been
Moved...........THEN
Congratulate them and put them In ToP MaNaGeMeNt *
xtash 28.11.10 - 04:02pm
Multitasking means up several things at once.
*
xtash 28.11.10 - 04:04pm
s*x is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. *
frodob18 30.12.10 - 06:24am
If you ever see me getting beaten by police,drop the video camera and help me! *
frodob18 30.12.10 - 06:40am
For sale- a computer slightly used with a bullet hole in the screen *
frodob18 30.12.10 - 06:43am
Money talks but all mine ever says is goodbye *
frodob18 30.12.10 - 06:49am
No,it doesnt hurt(tattoed on a guy) *
frodob18 30.12.10 - 07:11am
I always come late to office but i make up for it by leaving early. *
shail_86 1.01.11 - 06:29pm
A student while filling the admission form of a college asks the guard How is the college?
Guard : Its very good,.......trust me..... i've also done my M.B.A. from here. 
*
frodob18 28.06.12 - 04:12pm
I was in my bed looking at the starry sky when a thought crossed my mind, Where the heck is the ceiling? *
frodob18 28.06.12 - 04:13pm
I have no inkling what inkling means *
frodob18 28.06.12 - 04:15pm
My parents were really supportive when I didnt have a job. They would say, Get a job or GET OUT!!!!!! *
frodob18 3.07.12 - 03:43pm
Worlds smallest resignation letter-
Respected Sir,
I love your wife. *
frodob18 3.07.12 - 03:45pm
People say I am shy,but I am just holding back my awesomeness. *
frodob18 3.07.12 - 03:48pm
Its hard to do nothing cos you never know when you are done. *
frodob18 10.07.12 - 04:08pm
My prayer for You: May God break the front
teeth of those people who plot evil against you
secretly, so that you know your enemies by
their smiles...!!! :D ;) *
frodob18 17.07.12 - 06:18pm
I like you,You remind me of when I was young and stupid. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 08:11am
I asked God
for a bike,
but I know
God doesn't
work that
way. So I
stole a bike
and asked
for
forgiveness. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 11:08am
The last
thing I want
to do is hurt
you. But it's
still on the
list.
*
frodob18 18.07.12 - 11:15am
Light travels
faster than
sound. This
is why some
people
appear
bright until
you hear
them speak.
*
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:28pm
Found written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : DOUBLEYOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:34pm
A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:35pm
Sign in a restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:36pm
Sign seen while traveling in the YucatanPeninsula: Broken English spoken perfectly *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:47pm
City Council order reads: No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:49pm
Seen on a sign - No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:56pm
We heard that when you ran awayfrom home your folks sent you a note saying, Do not come home and all will be forgiven. *
frodob18 18.07.12 - 12:57pm
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals. *
