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Subject: fun corner
Replies: 256 Views: 5294
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:39pm
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:39pm
* 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S
*
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:40pm
Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place,
where most people find pleasure. *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:40pm
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES. *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:40pm
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like neighbour, then it is sociology. *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:40pm
Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning. *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:40pm
Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day. *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:41pm
* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy's hand....... *
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:41pm
* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed
his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked Why?
The animals told him......... ..Your tail is in the front
*
xtash 6.03.10 - 12:42pm
Last but not least
Secret of long life... Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night
between two legs... *
texan09 6.03.10 - 12:42pm
dis ws developed as an age test by the R&D dept@ Harvard Univ. Take ur tym n see if u can read each line out loud without a mistake. The average person can't do it!dis is really difficult, not so easy, so b careful.
1.This is this cat 2.This is is cat
3.This is how cat
4.This is to cat
5.This is keep cat
6.This is a cat
7.This is fool cat 8.This is busy cat
9.This is for cat
10.This is forty cat
11.This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down, 
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:44pm
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:45pm
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
Go on, said the Scot, have another drink.
The Englishman drank gratefully. But don't you want one, too? he asked the Scotsman.
Perhaps, replied the Scotsman, after the police have gone. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:46pm
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:46pm
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:47pm
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
Telegram
Telephone
Tell a woman
Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.
Submitted by: Dave & Brendan
EDITOR'S NOTE: Maybe you could teach your students the phrase politically correct and discuss it. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:48pm
If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:49pm
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:49pm
Am I the first man you have ever loved? he said.
Of course, she answered Why do men always ask the same question?. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:50pm
When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, You're next
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:51pm
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:52pm
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, Is that the sun or the moon?
The other drunk man answers, I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:53pm
A man is talking to God.
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it's about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:54pm
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?
Fred replied, Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them.
His friend thinks for a moment and says, I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother.
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.
The friend said, Then what's the problem?
Fred replied, My father doesn't like her. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:54pm
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home. *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:54pm
A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before! *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:55pm
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an I.
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:57pm
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, I can make the boss give me the day off.
The man replies, And how would you do that?
The woman says, Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, What are you doing?
The woman replies, I'm a light bulb.
The boss then says, You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, Where are you going?
The man says, I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:57pm
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?
The other one says No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:57pm
Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
*
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:58pm
A guy says to his friend, Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.
The friends says, If I guess right, will you give me one of them?
The first guys says, If you guess right, I'll give you both of them! *
xtash 11.03.10 - 04:58pm
This is a good one to follow the following previously submitted joke.
A: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
B: No idea. (No Eye Deer.)
A: What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
B: Still no idea.
*
ryan_x 12.03.10 - 08:58am
i neva make mistakes....i date them lol *
ryan_x 12.03.10 - 09:03am
HERE V GO AGAIN...I GOT 1 MORE FOOL READING THIS. PMSL *
texan09 12.03.10 - 06:51pm
A Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class, Shawn.
The teacher asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'
Shawn answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
Teacher had enough. She took Shawn to the prin l's office. While Shawn waited in the outer office, madam explained to the prin l what the situation was. The prin l told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Shawn was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Prin l: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Shawn: '9'.
Prin l: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Shawn: '36'.
And so it went with every question the prin l thought a 4th grade should know. The prin l looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think the Boy can go to the 4th grade.'
Teacher says to the prin l, 'I have some of my own questions for Shawn.
Can I ask him ?' The prin l and Shawn both agreed.
Teacher ask boy: 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Shawn, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Teacher: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Shawn:'Pockets.'
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Shawn:: Coconut
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The prin l's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, the Boy was taking charge.
Shawn.: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The prin l's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer....
Shawn:: Shake hands
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Shawn: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. the best man always has me first.
The Prin l was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg..
Shawn: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good.
Shawn: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff s haft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Shawn: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Shawn: Fire Truck
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Shawn:: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Shawn: SURNAME..
Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Shawn: HEART.
The prin l breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to UNIVERSITY, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.
*
ryan_x 13.03.10 - 01:03pm
choose ur color ::::
blue
black
red
pink
green
purple
violet
brown
coz...
m selling ma old undawear at 80 % off (only 4 guys) lol 
*
ryan_x 13.03.10 - 01:18pm
in a quiz competition a question was put down:;
name the person who bath 1ce in 15 days?
god promise
i left the competition
but
dint tok yo name. (who eva reads it...4 them) lol 
*
texan09 14.03.10 - 03:40pm
funny but carries a gud msg
*
texan09 19.03.10 - 04:44pm
y gals dnt luv IT guyz
*
texan09 20.03.10 - 05:59pm
COMMUNICATION IN OFFICE!!
From : Managing Director
To : Executive Director
Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o'clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday. So let the work-force line up outside, in their best clothes to watch it. To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we will not be able to see it very well and in that case the work force should assemble in the canteen.
From : Executive Director
To : Departmental Head
By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we will not be able to see it in our best clothes, on the site. In this case the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen. This is something we cannot see happening everyday.
From : Departmental Heads
To : Sectional Heads
By order of the Managing Director, we shall follow the disappearance of the sun in our best clothes, in the canteen at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. The Managing Director will tell us whether it is going to rain. This is something which we cannot see happen everyday.
From : Section Heads
To : Foreman
If it is raining in the canteen tomorrow morning, which is something that we cannot see happen everyday, the Managing director in his best clothes, will disappear at nine o' clock.
From : Foreman
To : All Operators
Tomorrow morning at nine o' clock, the Managing Director will disappear. It's a pity that we can't see this happen everyday
*
texan09 21.03.10 - 04:11pm
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to Erupt,
Tsunamis to arise,
Hurricanes to sway around,No one is taught how to choose a Wife,
Natural Disasters just happen. 
*
shail_86 29.03.10 - 03:29am
3 sardars were sleeping on one bed, bed was small so they were having problems. one of them decides to sleep on the ground. after some time one of the sardars on the bed said to him hey! u can come up now, there's some space on the bed now 
*
shail_86 29.03.10 - 03:35am
one day three sardars planned a picnic. they reached the picnic spot but found that they hv forgotten d cold drink at home. they decided dat the youngest of them would pick up the cold drink back. the youngest sardar agreed to go but with a condition that no one will touch the samosas untill he returns back. all of them agreed to that....
one day passed........
two days passed.......
three days passed.....
but he didn't returned. both the sardars thought that now waitin for him is worth wasting time so they picked up the samosas...... suddenly at that moment the youngest sardar came out behind the trees and said ' i'll not go if you do like that!! ' *
texan09 1.04.10 - 06:31pm
Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver and the wife is the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails .........
the liver manages with other kidney !! *
texan09 2.04.10 - 05:20am
There's only one perfect child
in the world and every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife
in the world and every neighbor has it *
texan09 2.04.10 - 05:21am
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects... *
texan09 2.04.10 - 05:21am
The Japanese have produced a camera
that has such a fast shutter speed that
it is capable of taking a picture of a woman
with her mouth shut!!! *
texan09 2.04.10 - 05:29am
Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver and the wife is the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails .........
the liver manages with other kidney !! *
shail_86 3.04.10 - 03:52am
This one is good
*
texan09 3.04.10 - 04:52am
shail ...200 up *
